Never pictured Charlie Brown as a younger version of Frank Costanza? Get ready to bask in their mutual holiday misery.

The two blockheads have a lot in common. Charlie Brown detests the overcommercialization of Christmas; Costanza finds tinsel distracting. Both are drawn to aluminum poles. And both have a long list of holiday grievances. “Rats. Nobody sent me a Christmas card today,” grumbles Charlie Brown in the original special. “I almost wish there weren’t a holiday season.”

Complaining about the season is what Costanza’s holiday is all about. “At the Festivus dinner,” he explains, “you gather your family around, and you tell them all the ways they have disappointed you over the past year.” 

While A Charlie Brown Festivus is fun, it’s disappointingly short at 33 seconds. Luckily, there are more Charlie Brown Christmas parodies that also deliver the goods. 

Funny or Die weighed in with a version featuring Linus explaining the true meaning of Christmas. It’s all sweetness and light as he explains the birth of the Christ child, but the story gets a little darker when Linus starts quoting End Times passages from Revelations. “There will be no rest day or night for those who worship the Beast,” says Linus, engulfed in flames. “That’s what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown.”

Animation Domination delivered A Charlie Brown Christmas Reunion with the middle-aged Peanuts gang returning for the holidays. Lucy now has double-Ds: divorced and diabetic. An unsympathetic Charlie Brown gets his football revenge anyway.

Robert Smigel delivered the funniest version in an installment of Saturday Night Live’s TV Funhouse. The Peanuts gang work their magic on a scraggly little Christmas tree, then realize their eerie holiday powers can be used to transform other objects as well. It’s a chance for Smigel to roast early aughts celebrities, including Christina Aguilera, Liza Minnelli, Ben Affleck and JLo, Anna Nicole Smith, Ozzy Osbourne, and most brutally, Michael Jackson. 

Just like in Funny or Die’s parody, religious scold Linus tries to put a stop to all the holiday fun with Biblical promises of doom. After God delivers his wrath, the kids put the Peanuts world back where it started. It’s the darkest version yet, with Charlie Brown and pals signing “Hark, The Herald Angels Sing” as Brad Pitt reads news of terrorist threats around the globe. 

Good grief.